Faith & The Revision Beast

I’m currently working on a book, and with that book comes editing and revisions. Never in my life did I think I would realize how truly mentally tolling it was to revise a novel. This really is my first time sticking to a draft, let me rephrase that–sticking to a decent draft of my novel.

I’ve always considered working on my novel as “work”, because I am working on it for many hours of the day. Now that I’ve gotten a job, I’ve noticed that it’s beginning to feel like I’m constantly working. I know I have free time, but in the free time I have, I’m choosing to work on my novel. So there will literally be days where I’ll just be so mentally exhausted and I’ll have moments where I’m like “Why are you tired? You literally sat in front of a computer for 5+ hours.”

You know, I thought writing the first draft was hard and then I started to do revisions. To quote my critique partner Ruby Rumsey , “Revision is a Beast”. It’s kind of strange because now that I’ve been hit really hard with revisions, I feel like I’m a real writer. My logic is like, you have to feel the struggle and pain that comes from writing a  book, before you can call yourself a writer.

Now, what’s been really getting to me lately is my word count. It honestly feels like I’m in high school again because I’m stressing over going over the maximum word count. It’s not that my book has a maximum word count, the reason why I’m stressing is because of one thing–Literary Agents. People keep saying–you shouldn’t query an agent with a novel that’s over 100,000 words and I’m sitting here panicking.

What I will say that is currently below 90,000 words due to scene and chapter cuts, but I’m kind of panicking because I do not feel like I can tell my story properly without going over 100,000 words. So I’m also now just sitting here—HOPING that if I do ever get the privilege to get published that they’ll let me go over 100,000 words. Do you know what else I’m sitting here doing? Mentally talking to the non-existent book people like “You expect me to write a full on fantasy story and build an entire proper fantasy world in less than 100,000 words? IN YOUR DREAMS.”

I do understand the reasons behind this limit however. I’m just very stubborn and refuse to accept it. Who knows, maybe I might be able to do it–but as of right now I do not have the confidence to properly tell my story in less than 100,000 words.

Speaking of stories, I’ve recently decided to scrap a rather big sub-plot in my book. You know what that means? More cuts and I now have to physically search for any trace of that sub-plot and kill it. Like how the night king killed Viserion. I was trying to avoid cutting it like it was the freaking plague, but that totally didn’t happen.

Throughout this, I’ve noticed I have to give myself mental pep talks. I’m sitting in front of my computer like “YOUR STORY IS GETTING KIND OF BETTER. THIS IS FOR THE BEST.” There are also moments where I doubt myself and consider dropping the whole book, then I remember my 12 year old self’s dream–and I’m just like DAMN IT.

Anyway, these are my current thoughts on revisions…It’s a mess.

Thanks for reading!

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Character Aesthetic Boards | Mortal Hearts & Shadows

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If you’re like me, you use Pinterest way too often. Pinterest is an amazing tool for creating aesthetically pleasing boards. I like using Pinterest to create character or world boards for plain old story inspiration. Not to mention that I also use it as a way to procrastinate.

I personally am a very visual person, and often need to be stimulated in order for the creativity to activate in my brain. Two factors that inspire me or pictures and music! So you’ll probably see a lot more picture related posts coming here in the future.

Lately, I haven’t made many aesthetic boards but I do plan on doing so for the kingdoms and other aspects of my world.

However, in the mean time—you can go ahead and check out my Pinterest account where I am VERY active!

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Another Day, Another Shelved Story

Untitled Spin Off

As writers, I think it’s normal to create ideas that we think are really great–and would love to write, but they never really work out. This story I’m about to tell you about is one of those stories.

I had just watched the movie Now You See Me, and I absolutely love the magic behind it. So I thought what if we could combine both “magic”, and magic. Somehow, I got this idea to do a spin off of my current work in progress. Here’s why I shelved it.

1) It didn’t come from a place of love or creativity

What I mean by this is that I created this idea because I was and still am super attached to my current novel. All good things must come to an end, and I couldn’t fathom letting go of my characters. So for a long time I was actually gravelling for a way to keep my story alive while making something new.

My solution to this problem: make the spin off about my MC’s daughter.

You know, even looking at this I still kind of have that drive to turn this idea into a reality. It would be super, super fun to write I will admit. However, there are still several reasons why I will never write this spin off.

2) It’s influencing the future of my current book

I like to plan things sometimes–one of those things I like to plan is the future of my stories. I plan for my current novel to be a series, and I don’t really know how long that said series will be. The only thing I’m sure of is that my character’s story does not start and end with one book.

You may be wondering, how is this idea influencing my current book? It is influencing me because, instead of focusing on the present I am thinking of the future. I am stressing over how this spin off will connect with my current project.


3) It’s changing not only the genre but the world I have built

My current project is a YA fantasy, and although the spin off is still a fantasy, it’s transforming my future ideas of sequels into a different category of fantasy. I don’t want that, I want to stay in my world.

The planned sequels literally went from a medieval fantasy, to a fantasy steampunk set in the modern world like what?

4) It’s creating plot holes

Going back to the idea of it influencing my current project. Whenever I think of the spin off, I remember things from my novel and I just go THAT’S NOT GOING TO WORK. IT’S A PLOT HOLE. And then I will start stressing over something that really shouldn’t matter.


Luckily, the spin off has not permanently influenced my current book. Any trace of this spin off is gone, the only traces of it are in the titles of my sequels I have planned.

I’m okay with thinking of the future books in my planned series. In fact, I have already started outlining the second one mainly because I knew I’d forget where I was going with it. What I’m not okay with is if it’s causing me major distress, and if it’s taking my characters and my story in a way I’m not comfortable with. Also, it never felt right.

With all of my story ideas that I’ve stuck with, there was always this sense of this is right for me. And I never got that feeling from this spin off idea. It was always a way to advance the future of my books.

For me, I don’t think that’s a nice reason to further develop a story idea. I think every story idea being written, and being developed has to be for the right reasons.

So that was another shelved idea, and I’m honestly not that sad about it because I know it’s for the best.

Do you have any shelved ideas? If so, let me know!

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Stories On Hold or Shelved

Like many or most writers I have ideas constantly flowing through my brain. Sometimes those ideas stick and sometimes they fade away into the hundreds of random thoughts that we dismiss everyday.

Let’s start off with the Shelved Idea(s):

Untitled Dragon Hunters Story:

The first thing I want you to do is watch the trailer for The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones movie..

Watched it? Cool. Yeah, this untitled dragon hunter’s story was a complete rip off of this movie. This was originally going to be a co-written book with my troll–I mean my friend Raquel. Raquel and I had just watched the film (we watched the movie before we read the books), so you could say we were in a bit of a Mortal Instruments high.

The concept itself was somewhat interesting and had some unique elements, but a lot of it was pulled from the City of Bones movie. It’s interesting watching the trailer because it’s giving me flashbacks to the storyline of the dragon hunter book. Yeah–total rip off. Continue reading